GOA!

Ok first off for the like 50 people who have been like "WE WANT AN UPDATE!" I'm sorry! Here it is! I promise I'll make it a good one! :)
Last weekend, which only feels like a lifetime or so ago, we gathered up our stuff and headed away to Goa, the smallest state in India for a weekend. The other Americans- Mike, Chelsea, Sarah, Jess- and I left Bandra, where we all stay, around 5:00PM Friday evening to meet our Indian friends joining us- Ishan and Kunal in Chembur, where they both stay and where the bus was leaving from. The bus was supposed to leave around 8:30, but due to one small factor known as Indian Standard Time, IST, we left more like 10. The bus ride down was at best forgettable, but honestly just unpleasant. Its about a twelve hour drive and we had a terrible driver who didn't know how to handle the curvy roads that led us away. Luckily I was able to get some sleep and we arrived in Goa around 11:00AM Saturday morning.
Stop number one was to our Hotel, Villa Emmanuel, where we had rented a two-bedroom cottage and a private room for all of us. After that, in the middle of October, I went swimming in the delightfully warm Arabian Sea. This was the first time in probably two or three years where I had been at a legitimate beach. I had forgotten how much peace I find in walking along the sand and letting the ocean hold me while I ride the waves.
Another major highlight of the weekend was renting mopeds. While I didn't drive one, I spent many hours riding on the back of one and loving every second of it. Although, if and when I go back, I have promised myself that I will muster the courage to at least drive small distances. I probably won't drive much, but at least a little bit. For anyone planning a trip to Goa, rent a moped. It is by far the best way to get around the community and I can honestly tell you there is nothing like riding on one. Mike especially enjoyed the experience of riding and will happily help anyone who is interested in repeating the experience.
Now the original plan was for us to leave Monday evening and get back Tuesday morning, since none of us had class on Tuesday and take the day to relax. However, we all realized that we could not possibly imagine leaving Goa quite yet and needed at least another day (or a lifetime) in Goa, so we switched our tickets to Tuesday night.
Monday night we went to Curlies, a spot known only to the locals or those who know the locals. You find Curlies through riding down many unmarked and random dirt roads. Curlies is one of those spots from the sixties that never really left, much like the rest of Goa. While we were there we sat on lounger chairs and soaked in the atmosphere.
Tuesday morning, Mike, Jess, Ishan, Sarah, Kunal, and I all went to the Anjuna Cafe, as we called it, a small cafe on a mountainside that looks over the ocean. If I had not decided it already, I determined there that anyone who leaves Goa by choice is an absolute fool. I could easily spend my rest of my time in India riding on a moped and sitting on the beach in Goa. Surely I could make this count as social work credit, right?
As amazing as Goa was, its hard for me not to acknowledge one really upsetting incident that I had to spend some time working through personally. One thing that is relatively well known in India is that children are often used for labor. This is often under the table and done in "cash only settings" All along the beaches, women and children would sell various trinkets, jewlery, and sarongs. One boy that came to us a couple of times, Ravi, told us that he was 11 years old. One time when he was trying to get us to buy something, he and his "friend" (business partner?), saw a police officer. Instantly, the two boys started running in the opposite direction. They were obviously hiding from the officer, since child labor is illegal. It was really hard for me to process watching these little boys running away from police officers. Little kids should be spending time in school or running on the beach with their friends because they are playing, not because a police officer is racing after them.
We got back to the city on Wednesday morning, and although the bus we were on was much nicer, we still left late and didn't reach until 9:30 in the morning. This was a bit of problem, since all of us had places we needed to be. We were all able to sort this out though and I honestly think that it was worth it to spend an extra day in Goa.

The rest of this week has been pretty laid back, how could it not be when you had just spent most of it in the happiest place on Earth?
Yesterday, I went to the Remand Home for my internship. Jaya had introduced me to her friend, Veera, who works there telling stories to the girls who stay there to encourage their personal development. Many of the girls have either been removed from their homes because of inter-familial conflicts, or have been found on the street. Some have ran away from home. The girls I met ranged from 11-16, although some of them only looked like they were 8 or 9. I spent a lot of time talking to some of the older girls and then, at their request, danced and sang for them. DO NOT LAUGH AT ME! I ended up singing them the same song my mom used to sing to me when I was a little girl when I was going to sleep.
On the way to Remand Home, there had been a pipline burst along the train tracks, which resulted in general mass confusion, and stress. While I was waiting to go I saw men and women, in Sarees no less, cross over the train tracks as they adjusted to the change. Some people had to cross multiple times because they kept switching the tracks. This was the first time where I saw more than one or two people at a time crossing and it certainly was something to see. When we were coming back, the pipeline burst had caused so many delays that the trains were super-extra crowded even for Mumbai standards. We made it back to Bandra safe and sound somehow or another though and I can honestly say that I'm relieved that I won't have to ride in a train again until Monday morning. :).
Peace, Love, and Elephant Kisses- Emmy

At the request of my father...an UPDATE

On Wednesday at my internship, I ended up going to visit Pamela Fernandes, my Social Work teacher at THINC. I was reading various essays and books at her office, which had about a million that I wanted to read. Pamela works at a place called Hotline, which address major human rights issues in India. One essay that I read while visiting Hotline, came from Claiming Our Place: Working the Human Rights System to Women’s Advantage the essay was called “The Principle of Universality and Cultural Identity” By Radhika Coomaraswamy. The essay was asking in essence: how can we celebrate cultural diversity, while enjoying our human rights? There a many cultures that exist with traditions that may or may not be conducive to women’s rights. For example, some religious customs mandate a wife’s subordination to her husband, and even place a higher value on baby boys than girls, offering them more chances for education, freedom and enjoyment of life. How do we, as a global society, accept those religions and traditions, while still encouraging a human rights agenda? Where a husband and wife are equal in a relationship and allow for boys and girls to equally pursue education and freedom. I have no perfect answer yet, but I think a quote from Madhu Kishwar: “Our cultural traditions have tremendous potential within them to combat reactionary and anti-women idea, if we can identify their points of strength and use them creatively…We must realize that if we fail to acknowledge and help reinvigorate the deeply humane portions of our heritage, none of us are likely to succeed.” I think we need to start looking at the history of our religions and traditions and see if they truly serve a purpose and also look at other ways the same religions and cultures are used. I do not think that, at their core, any tradition or religion is about dehumanizing or suppressing a group of people, but that we have gotten caught up in those ideas and stopped looking behind those traditions. I agree with Kishwar that cultural traditions have the potential power within them to fight against anti-women ideas and even support the rights of women across the world.
Thursday, I was supposed to meet Jaya at a Mental Stress Seminar. I find it kind of funny then that I ended up getting lost in Andheri for over an hour. During this time, I could have no real conversation with anyone. My rickshaw driver spoke absolutely no English, and I speak no Hindi. We relied heavily on gestures, but it did not really get us very far. I remember feeling very afraid and helpless during this time. One thing I was thinking about in relation to this experience relates back to a conversation I recently had with my dad. I was talking about the frustration of not always being able to communicate, even when I have a very clear idea of what I want and what I want to say. My dad pointed out that this is the experience in the United States for many non-English speakers. I think this experience highlights what my dad was trying to say very well and has also given me an increased feeling of empathy for non-English speakers in the United States. In that short one hour period, I felt so vulnerable and afraid, so I can imagine if someone who constantly lives like that experiences many similar emotions on a regular basis. As much as I did not enjoy the experience while I was lost, I hope that I am able to maintain my empathy for non-English speakers in the United States after my time in Mumbai.
This weekend I got to engage in one of my favorite past times...SHOPPING! :)! There has been an exhibition with TONS of craft stands near where we live in Bandra. Jess and Sarah had already had a chance to go, so Chelsea and I decided to go on Friday afternoon. I ended up getting a bunch of cute things, I can't say what though because some you have presents now! ;). Then yesterday, the girls and I went to another huge one-day exhibition at Candies, the local quick-service restaurant, and I got some more stuff, including a super cute dress, some soaps, jewelry and MORE PRESENTS!
Earlier in the semester, the other girls and I had bought fabric to have made into: saris (for Jess and Sarah) Salwar Kameeze(s), and Kurtas. We finally went to a designer who is going to send it to a tailor to have it made. Unfortunately in the process of trying to get to the designer, we ended up getting lost (for the second time in a week for me) and going into a police station for directions. This resulted in us getting the police officers to get us a rickshaw, and then lead the rickshaw driver from the station to the designer's house on a moped. Not going to lie, that was kind of awesome. We should be getting some of our clothes in the next 10-15 days, so I'm super excited.
This week has been a bit more hectic than some of my other weeks here, what with getting lost and feeling just some general stress, but I'm never not amazed by this country and the people that live here. Whenever I've hit a rough spot, I've just thought to myself "Well its not India's fault you don't know where you're going" I feel very protective of my host country and can't help but love it even when its driving me crazy.
Peace, Love, and Elephant Kisses-Emmy

Rain Rain Go Away...

Today, it was raining, a lot. Maybe not by Mumbai standards but, by my standards it was. Luckily I planned ahead and was able to get to my internship right on time. As soon as I got there, Jaya and I started talking about violence against women, empowerment, and what factors lead to empowerment. One of my favorite aspects of my internship is the exchange of ideas that happens. I think I’m being challenged to think more actively about different issues than I have been in a while and that is good for me to experience. For example, I spent a lot of my time today thinking more actively than usual about how when a woman, or a group of women, is empowered in one aspect of their life it leads to empowerment in other aspects. Conversely, when a woman is disempowered or disenfranchised in one aspect of life they are disempowered in all aspects of life. Even though I have always been aware of this, I think I am developing a deeper understanding of this idea and applying it to a greater extent. I think that the best visual I can think of to represent this is a baby mobile.
Today I also got to go the Sunmitra Trust. The trip was kind of spur of the moment. The director of the program, Prabha Desai, came by the Legal Services office, and offered to take me to her site. I was not entirely sure what the site was, but I ended up primarily going to the Swayambhoo Udyan part of the site, where people who are HIV positive work in simple labor tasks, such as basic box assembly and putting factory parts in the boxes. Prabha explained to me that while factories were not willing to have the people who are HIV positive in their factory, they are willing to outsource their labor to the hospital where the site is. I thought this idea was pretty brilliant. It provides the individuals working there with not only a source of income, but also a greater connection to other people, so they are not isolated at home. I was really blown away at how a simple idea like this resulted in the employment of so many people. The mission statement of Sunmitra Trust includes the belief that they should provide empowerment, not charity. I think this is exactly what happens here, as the women who work their often go on to other sites after some time working. What a wonderful way to develop a community. I’m really glad I got to see this site and be exposed to the wonderful work that they do.
After checking out the Sunmitra Trust, I headed back to the Center for Legal Services. Jaya decided that due to this nasty weather, we could go home early today! I had decided this morning that I wanted to take a rickshaw home. The idea of getting into a hot, crowded, rainy train was just too unappealing to even consider. This made me think of the certain privileges that I have here financially. If I was
really don't want to, or if I feel unsafe (which I never have, don't worry parental, family, and friend types), I don't have to take the train and bus home.
Before leaving, I had messaged one of my friends just to get an idea of how much I should spend, so I would know if something went wrong on the way home, or if I felt like we were going in the wrong direction. I was able to get a rickshaw as soon as I left my site, which I was relieved about. The roads were flooded in some parts but we made it home safe and sound. I was glad to see the route I needed to take in order to get home. It turns out that we go through parts of the city that I have been to before, and just never realized it. When I got home, the rickshaw ride ended up being about half of what I had been told it would be, so I was really excited about that!
Peace, Love, Elephant Kisses- Emmy

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Yesterday I went to Family Court for my internship. I was told to meet Marilyn, one of the lawyers from my internship at 10:30. In true "Emmy" form, not wanting to be late I gave myself WAY too much time to get there and ended up getting there around 10:00. I ended up waiting nearly an hour for Marilyn, but I spent most of it outside, because I had no idea how to get inside. Yes, I knew where the door was, but everything was written in Hindi and I had no idea where I was gong. Around 10:45 I finally mustered up some courage and decided to try "door number 1" lucky me! I was right and got into the elevator to head up to the sixth floor where I was told to meet Marilyn. It turns out Marilyn wasn't there yet, so I just sort of wandered around the floor for a bit.
I've only been inside one court building in the States, but I was sort of shocked at how dingy and messy this place was. Essentially it was one big room with a couple of rooms off to the side. In one room was the "official" court room but the whole place was poorly lit, with benches lined up for people sit on and all on the wall were little sayings, like "better a lean compromise than a fat lawsuit."
Around 11:00, Marilyn and Rachada (the other lawyer) showed up and they checked what number their first case was. Then we sat. And we waited. The first case was a "Mutual Consent" divorce, in which both parties want out. In some ways you would think this would be simple, but no. First they have to file for divorce, then they have a case with the judge, then they meet with a counselor, and then six months later they are divorced. It can take a while, and both parties have to agree how everything will be divided, and it all has to be divided perfectly equally. After that case was settled up, both parties met with a counselor, we went to have lunch. No one is allowed inside the court room, except for the judge and the innvolved parties.
After lunch, we were doing a case filing, for another person. Normally case filings happen in the morning, but "M" was not able to drop off her kids until the afternoon so thats when we met with her. The first step in the process was to put stamps, pay the legal fees, on the petition for divorce. Normally this means just going to the building across the street, but this wasn't a normal day. So Marilyn and I jumped in a rick and went to try and find stamps somewhere else. Then we came back. Then three photocopies of the petition had to be made. Then we had to get the original copy of the petition stitched, like needle and thread, stiched together. Then we raced to the court clerks office (I'm guessing) to file the case. The case almost was not accepted because it was so late in the day, but we managed to get it filed.
My intital reaction from the site visit was total impatience, it felt like a lot of sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Especially because I can't speak Hindi, I had little to no idea what was going on. What I could see was many people standing outside the court room, looking anxiously in. They were waiting for their daughters and sons, or maybe for themselves for their fate. Some people looked bored. Some looked scared, some looked terrified. Divorce in India is still a taboo, so anyone there was risking a lot to get out of a marriage. People normally only do it in the most extreme of circumstances. I hope I get a chanace to go back to the courts, I think I would benefit from seeing everything again.
Peace, Love, Elephant Kisses- Emmy